Dodgers News: Outrage! Stadium peanut guy grounded

LOS ANGELES, CA — Roger Owens is a legend in the Loge. His peanut-tossing routine has been delighting Dodger fans for over sixty years. But, sad to say, the LA Times is reporting that the peanuts will fly no more.

Citing “fan safety”, the company that runs the concessions at Dodger Stadium, Levy Restaurants, has told Owens that he can no longer toss peanuts to fans eager for the salty snacks. Instead, he must gently place them into the hands of the fan at the end of the row, at which point they must be passed, in an orderly manner mind you, to the hungry customer. One more bit of joy sucked out of the Dodger Stadium experience.

“Pitching peanuts to the fans brings a lot of joy and happiness,” Owens said to the LA Times‘ Bill Shaikin. “This joy and happiness hasn’t been there.”

The way Owens sees it, the small chance that someone might be hurt by a bag of peanuts flying through the air is covered in the liability statement that is printed on the back of every ticket (or at least it was when people actually had printed tickets). It warns fans that there was a risk “prior to, during, or subsequent to, the actual playing of the game, including but not limited to the danger of being injured by players, other fans, thrown bats or portions thereof, thrown or batted balls or other objects or projectiles.”

What, I ask you, is a flying bag of peanuts, but a projectile? You buys yer ticket, you takes yer chances, I say!

“They have time to see it coming,” Owens told the Times. “It’s not some bullet that goes straight through. I’m always wanting to make sure that whoever I am throwing to will catch the bag of peanuts.

“I want them to catch it, because they feel a sense of accomplishment.”

This seems like something that could be changed if enough people know about it. The guy has literally been with the Dodgers since the team first came to LA. He started working at the Coliseum selling sodas before he got the promotion to peanuts. And he’s been slinging the tasty snacks ever since.

Dodgers. Please. We beg you. Don’t be such killjoys. You can make Levy change this stupid policy. Even if it’s just for good ol’ Roger. The guy must be pretty close to retirement. Let Roger toss his peanuts in peace!